Why I Quit Drinking

After 8 months of world travel, and far too many libations along the way, I decided to quit drinking. And smoking. Not for good, but for a year (sept 10 '07). This ban is self-imposed, and it has a few important exceptions, but I intend for it to stick.

The exceptions are worth noting, but mentioning them makes me feel like a wild-eyed Mormon preacher trying to rationalize his impending polygamy. Nonetheless, they are acceptable in my book, and since this is entirely self-imposed, that's all that counts. Here goes:

1) If one of my unmarried siblings (gawd forbid) or close friends gets married (Jose is only one drunken binge away from knocking up a stripper), I will drink. I would regret it if I did not.

2) New Years Eve. If I want to. Consider it a free pass for the King of all drinking holidays. Plus, I cannot let my wife continue to hold my title as Most Debaucherous New Years Eve Schmidt in the Household any longer. Time to up the proverbial ante.

3) St. Paddy's Day. I will simply take the opportunity to remind Mr. Guinness and Mr. Jameson who is boss.

4) Any type of "Welcome Home ME" party. To be fair, I already cashed in this chip with a drunken binge in NYC last week with The Fensters and my man Gordon. It was supossed to include Jose and Fernie, but they dissed me after I already had 3 in me, so this pass was under-utilized. Very disappointing.

5) If the Cowboys make the NFL Playoffs. This is simply reality. If they make it back to respectability, I shall drink like a fish for each game. If they make it to the Super Bowl, I'll be effing catatonic by kickoff.

I am doing this for the following reasons:
- I drank too much on the trip, and the joy of getting a buzz now takes more effort
- The buzz, when it arrives, is no longer a novelty. It's expected.
- I want to rededicate myself to getting in killer shape. Even the slightest sluggishness from substance from the night before is enough to make me pass on working out. Not the kind of effect I need.
- I want to give myself a little test, just to make sure I possess the required resolve. I pampered myself quite a bit with good booze for 8 months... wouldn't want to spoil myself.

So far, very easy. Haven't had any overwhelming cravings.